Reliving the same day over and over?

Humans are a funny lot. Some of us ad lib and improvise our way through everything in life. Others must adhere to a consistent set of habits and routines in order to live.

In a normal environment, both approaches yield extremely effective and successful ways to live productive, meaningful lives. But how can you survive the pandemic winter of 2021…regardless of your approach?

For our routine-based folks, the entire year has been a complete upheaval! Working from home, no (or too much) alone time, virtual learning, gym closures….your mere existence is a crap-shoot at this point!

For our ad-libbers, the pandemic has put massive restraints on travel, in-person socialization, and many types of impromptu gatherings. You couldn’t just pop-in to visit someone even if you wanted to.

The holidays are over. The doldrums are here. The weather…and life…looks bleak, right? No way. Not in the slightest! We’re going to get through it. Wait….

Phil?

Phil Conners? Is that you?

Yes, Phil Conners is going to show us how…..

A few weeks ago, I watched Groundhog Day—for the first time ever. I had seen bits & pieces of it over the years, but never watched the full, uncut movie from start to finish. I know I’m 28 years late on this, but the metaphors and symbolism were eye-opening. For those of you who know the movie well and are searching for encouragement and ways to stay positive these days, revisit the movie’s premise in the context of our collective 2020 experience. I couldn’t help but do that, and it just added to my curiosity and intrigue.

The bottom line is: whether (or dare I say “weather”) you thrive off of routines or you fly by the seat of your pants daily, we can get through it. So, given my recent enlightenment at the hands of the most famous varmint in the country, here we go:

1. Have Your Anchors…But Improvise The Rest
2. Learn To Adapt
3. Service To Others

Have your anchors and improvise the rest

We may not have our typical commutes to and from work. Our morning routines. Heck, putting on pants and showering daily may not even be in the cards for a lot of folks now (no comment on yours truly).

But we can still anchor to a few key moments every day that act as personal and professional guardrails to keep us on task and focused:

– Wake up at the same time
– Log into and out of work at the same time
– Eat 1,2, or 3 meals at or around the same time
– Take the dog for a walk or hold yourself to a run, bike, or workout at the same time

…and be flexible with everything else in between. That way, you keep a sense of normalcy while allowing for the fact that this is not normal (or… in an extreme case: we’re all still adapting to whatever will be the “new normal” going forward. More on that in a bit…)

Every morning, Phil Conners woke up at 6am to the same song (“They say we’re young and we don’t know…but we won’t find out until we grow…”), was greeted by the same B&B manager and dining room employees (“Will you be checking out today, Mr. Conners?”), and got his broadcast at the same time. From there, he improvised greatly with the rest of his day. He figured out when he could steal money from armed security guards; learned how to play piano; mastered different languages, etc. My point is…whether you rely on routines or you thrive on improvisation, find a happy medium that leverages the best of both worlds.

We all know the definition of insanity: doing the same thing over and over again and expecting a different outcome. And this winter…if you feel like you’re doing the same thing every day, maybe you are. Make the effort to wear something different; listen to a new station, singer, or band; or learn a new skill. As a wise man once told me: There’s magic in the mundane.

Plus, there are only so many days that you can step into a shin-deep pothole of icy slush or get hounded by Ned Ryerson before you say enough is enough.

Choose To Adapt
I love wise sayings that are often misquoted or attributed to the wrong people, and this one by Charles Darwin is no exception: “It is not the strongest of the species, nor the most intelligent, that survives. It is the one that is most adaptable to change.”

But I also love traditions. I had been to 15+ years of St. Patrick’s Day parades and Washington Monument Christmas Lightings in Baltimore before 2020. I had been to 8+ years of Orioles Opening Days. Two years ago, my daughters, brother, and I started a new tradition of attending an Orioles away series in a different city every summer. This summer we were going to take that tradition international (Toronto). Easter and Thanksgiving family traditions….also both out the window in 2020.

Once you accept the fact that life is going to be different—or in Phil Conners’ case, the same—you can start to make it the best life-from-here-on-out possible.

When 6am hits and Sonny and Cher (and those obnoxious morning radio show hosts “What is this, Miami Beach??”) signify that it’s Groundhog Day once again, Phil recognizes that he has to adapt and evolve his day or he’s going to live the same miserable 24 hours for the rest of his life. He opens himself to new people, habits, and behaviors. He develops new routines. Admittedly, not all of these new behaviors and experiences are healthy—in fact, some are downright illegal and deadly—like stealing police cars, kidnapping the world’s most famous groundhog, or attempting to repeatedly and creatively commit suicide.

But the lesson here is that adaptation is critical not only to survival…but in some respects, to higher levels of happiness and fulfillment.

Service To Others
“Tis the season for thinking of others:
Mammas, Pappas, Sisters, Brothers.
Nature’s creatures great and small.
Nature’s creatures, one and all.”

I’m dating myself by reciting a portion of The Berenstain Bears’ Christmas Tree Special, but it nevertheless serves as a good reminder about how to get out of a rut. If you’re not into 41-year old animated, rhyming Christmas specials, perhaps we should pay more heed to the lyrics of “The End,” by The Beatles, when it comes to finding love and happiness.

There is an enormous benefit to helping others. A wise woman likes to say that Service To Others is gratitude in action. I also came across this story the other day:

A teacher once brought balloons to school, told her pupils to blow them up and write their name on one. After the children tossed their balloons into the hall, the teacher moved through the hall mixing them all up. The kids were given five minutes to find the balloon with their name on it. Though they searched frantically, no one found their own balloon.

Then the teacher told them to take the balloon closest to them and give it to the person whose name was on it. In less than two minutes, everyone was holding their own balloon. The teacher said to the children, “These balloons are like happiness. No one finds it when we search only for our own. But when we care about someone else’s happiness…it will ultimately help us find our own.

There is much debate over what finally “releases” Phil from the 24-hour cycle of February 2nd. Many aspects of the movie point to him letting go of his selfish personality and fully embracing a life of service that serves as the catalyst for breaking the cycle. Once he stopped trying so hard to get the girl, or impress the townspeople, or look like a big shot, etc., and he was authentically good (with no personal agenda), he was able to move on with his life. I subscribe to this theory. But you can find all kinds of theories that make connections between the movie’s plot and religious and philosophical ideologies here.

Movie buffs and Groundhog Day producers estimate that Phil Conners spent 30-40 real-time years trapped in Groundhog Day. But when it comes to finding true happiness, better late than never.

Of course, if you ask Harold Ramis—the film’s writer and director—the entire thing is nothing more “than a good, heartfelt, entertaining story.”

And when you take a step back from the headline news of 2020 (and the first few weeks of 2021, for that matter)…and all of the political, economic, and social unrest…in the end, isn’t that what we want out of this winter and the year ahead? A good, heartfelt, uplifting story. Don’t let yourself get caught in a negative, repetitive cycle. There’s always a silver lining. Look harder. It’s there.

I hope you had an outstanding holiday. And have an outstanding new year.